


Not Everyone Can Be Saved

by ariminiria



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 09:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10784418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariminiria/pseuds/ariminiria
Summary: Once again, Clint Barton saves the one he was supposed to eliminate. After the death of his wife, he was on a downward spiral, but with this new and risky addition to the team, he finds himself falling in a different way. Will Barton's habit of picking up stray's come back to bite him?





	1. Chapter 1

It started out as a normal day at the tower. Then, Maria had to ruin it by bringing in that mission.

“Alright Hill, what have you got for us?” Tony quipped.

She tossed the file onto the table.

“This is (Y/N) (L/N). She’s the best shot there is. Trained by a secret order of assassins in Mongolia from a young age, it’s pretty safe to say she knows her way around all kinds of weapons. But, she’s best with guns. She never, ever misses. Unfortunately, she’s causing us all kinds of trouble; targeting SHIELD agents and our allies.”

“What do you want us to do about it?” Bruce asked.

Maria hesitated.

“She needs to be… Taken care of. Before she single-handedly takes down SHIELD.”

“Uh, I thought Rogers already did that?” Tony said sarcastically.

Rolling his eyes, Steve interjected, “Isn’t there another option? Couldn’t we try to reason with her?”

“A second chance did me a world of good, Maria. Is it completely off the table to recruit her?” Natasha asked.

The agent shook her head tersely.

“This isn’t like with you, Agent Romanoff.”

Then she continued, “We need one of you to handle the situation. It can’t be more than one or else she’ll realize what’s going on. Whoever accepts this needs to realize that they may not walk away from this one. (Y/N) (L/N) is dangerous, possibly more dangerous than you, Nat.”

Clint’s voice broke the stifling silence.

“I’ll do it.”

Natasha immediately faced him. “No you won’t.”

Ever since Laura had been killed, the ex-assassin’s friend had suddenly started taking more risks, going on more dangerous missions more often. He stopped caring whether or not he came back.

“That’s not your call.”

Her gaze hardened and she grabbed ahold of his collar, pulling him out of the room. Once they were alone, she gave him a glare that would have had anyone else running for their lives.

“Clint, listen to me. You need to get your head in the game. You have your kids to think about. Cooper, Lila, Nathaniel… They need you. Now, more than ever.”

He avoided her accusing stare.

“I’m fine.”

He finally looked her in the eye. “Yeah, I‘ll admit that these past few months have been rough. I haven’t been fair to the team. But look, I just have a feeling about this one. I need to be the one to do this.”

Nat’s expression softened. “You heard what Hill said. This one can’t be saved.”

Clint smiled. His best friend knew him too well.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try.”

“And if you _die_ trying? You’d be okay with leaving your family behind?”

He hesitated.

“Look… I promise that I won’t purposefully do anything stupid. I’ll do my best to make to back.”

Natasha considered that.

“Fine. But if you don’t come back, I’ll kill you myself.”


	2. Chapter 2

(Y/N) knew she was being followed. She wasn’t stupid. She had learned a long time ago how to spot a tail, even the best. She wasn’t one to mess around, so as soon as she could, she had the man pinned to a wall in a dark alley with a knife to his throat.

He wasn’t bad looking at all... 

(Y/N) shook her head. This was not the time to get distracted.

“You have ten seconds to tell me who you are and give me a good enough reason not to end you here and now.”

Her calm yet deadly tone sent chills down Barton’s spine. The woman in front of him was wearing a dark cloak with a hood, her steady hands covered by black leather gloves.

“I can help you.”

(Y/N) hesitated, but didn’t lose her cool.

“Who says I need help? Besides, you still haven’t answered my first question.”

She pressed the blade against his throat, drawing a bit of blood.

“Easy, sweetheart. I never called you a damsel in distress. I’m with an organization called SHIELD, you might’ve heard of us? Y’know, the whole ‘city in the sky’ thing? I’ll admit, that wasn’t one of our prouder moments, but--”

The assassin applied more pressure, cutting him off.

“You gonna keep rambling,  _ sweetheart _ ? We could just skip to the part where I decide whether or not you’re useful.”

“Okay, okay, my name is Clint Barton. SHIELD sent me here to take you out.”

(Y/N) snorted.

“And you’re doing a marvelous job of that.”

“I can’t be useful to you if you don’t let me finish.”

She smirked.

“Sassy, even under the threat of death. I like that.”

“Yeah well, I’ve got nothing to lose.”

She could sense a deeper meaning to his words, but nodded for him to continue.

“They wanted me to kill you because you’ve been giving us and our associates quite a bit of trouble, sweetheart. But I think that you want a little something more than assassinating agents just because someone told you to. You want to be free, don’t you? You’ve been controlled for your whole life, but now you want to use your skills for what  _ you _ want. Why not use them for SHIELD?”

“Alright, I’ll play your game. Why would I want to trade the assassins for SHIELD? I’d still be controlled, just by a different group. Besides, the assassins would hunt me down.”

Clint smirked.

“With your skill set sweetheart, we can’t exactly force you to do jack. Whatever you do would be completely up to you.”

“And the assassins?”

“SHIELD will hide you.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes.  “You don’t know them as well as I do.”

“We took  _ the _ Black Widow out from under the noses of the Red Room. I think you’ll be fine.”

She slowly took the knife away, and Clint immediately relaxed.

“Fine,” she stated emotionlessly. “I’ll give it a try. But just know this: if they try to put me in a cell, you’ll be the one I kill first.”

Barton rubbed his throat and laughed.

“Fair enough.”

 

Natasha and Tony stood on the jet landing awaiting Clint’s arrival. Tony smiled, but it immediately dropped when the ramp descended and he caught sight of the black-clad assassin. The red-headed Russian, however, displayed her usual winning smirk.

“What’s that look for, Nat?” Barton questioned as he approached his friends.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied. “Tony just owes me fifty bucks. So do Bucky, Sam, and Pietro...”

Clint followed her gaze to the girl who was supposed to have been his target. Her hood was now down, unveiling her messy (Y/H/C) hair and watchful (Y/E/C) eyes.

“I take it he has a habit of picking up strays?” (Y/N) asked as she swaggered over.

Natasha eyed her warily, but opted to be friendly. She knew from experience how daunting a choice like this could be. One person’s kindness might make all the difference.

“That he does,” she nodded.

“I do not!” the man protested.

“Yeah, you do,” Tony interjected, heading inside.

Clint thought about it for a second.

“Yeah, I do…”

“Anyways,” Natasha continued, “The rest of the team will be wanting to meet you. They’re all already in the meeting room, so we might as well head down there.”

The agent paused for a second, waiting to gauge (Y/N)’s reaction. The assassin shrugged, placing her hands on her hips.

“I’m game for meeting the rest of your little ‘club.’”

She moved towards the doors after Tony, calling over her shoulder to Clint.

“Just remember what I said about a cell,  _ sweetheart _ .”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at that remark. Barton held his hands up in defense.

“It’s a long story…”


	3. Chapter 3

The assassin was reclining in one of the chairs with her feet propped up on the table. All of the Avengers were there, minus Bucky. The group watched cautiously as the woman began casually twirling a knife around her fingers.

Just then, the former Winter Soldier walked through the door.

“Hey guys, I heard Clint did it again. What--”

He cut himself off immediately, upon seeing (Y/N). The assassin in him took over as he marched toward her, pulling her out of the chair and pinning her to the wall, his metal hand wrapped around her throat.

Out of instinct, (Y/N) already had a pistol pressed under his chin.

“Good to see you too, Soldier...”

“What are you doing, Barnes?” Clint demanded.

“You shouldn’t have brought her here, Barton. She’s dangerous.”

(Y/N) spoke up before Clint could reply.

“So are you, James, but I see they’re still keeping you around.”

He growled, tightening his grip. (Y/N) cocked her gun.

“Easy, Soldier.”

She flashed him a flirtatious grin.

“I’m here because I want to _change_.” she said, raising her eyebrows in mock solemnity.

“Let her go, Buck,” Steve called.

Reluctantly, the sergeant obeyed. The assassin holstered her weapon and everyone relaxed.

“Well,” (Y/N) emphasized sarcastically, “Not that this little ‘meet and greet’ hasn’t been fun, but I’d really like to see where I’ll be staying now.”

 

Clint showed her to one of the spare rooms, though she had no time to get settled. Steve insisted on seeing her spar with Natasha in order to assess her.

Once in the training room, with Bucky eyeing her warily, (Y/N) stepped toward the mat.

“Hang on just a second, Shadow.” Tony called. “Please leave all weapons  _ outside _ the ring.”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow.

“What did you just call me?”

Tony shrugged flippantly.

“I’m kind of the self-designated nickname distributor. You’re supposedly the stealthiest assassin to ever terrorize the night, so my first thought was ‘Shadow’.”

He paused.

“But you still have to leave your weapons out here.”

Rolling her eyes at the billionaire’s antics, (Y/N) removed her cloak to reveal a vest filled with knives. She pulled it off, along with her gun belt, staring Clint down all the while.

Her message was very clear:  _ ‘I don’t need these toys to kill you. Just because I’m disarmed doesn’t mean I’m weak, so don’t you dare try to lock me up.’ _

As she tossed her things down, she shot Bucky a threatening look.

“Don’t touch my stuff,” she sassed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Princess.”

Clint frowned. How had they suddenly gone from threatening each other to flirting? Bucky definitely had some questions to answer.

Natasha stepped into the ring.

“You’ll be sparring with me for the assessment. The match is over in ten minutes or when one of us pins the other for ten seconds.”

“Alright,” Steve called. “Ready, and… Go!”

With that, the two assassins were off. It was eerily fascinating to watch as the two of them danced around each other like a pair of deadly gymnasts.

Natasha threw a punch, but (Y/N) caught her hand, attempting to spin her around. The redhead, however, saw what she was trying to do and took ahold of her opponent’s other arm, locking them together in their combative struggle.

They went back and forth like that for a while, each trying to shake the other loose. Finally, (Y/N) let herself go limp, pulling Natasha to the ground with her. Using her feet as a springboard, she flipped the Avenger over her head, pulling herself to her feet at the same time. Nat kicked the assassin’s feet out from under her, sending her to the ground again. Before Natasha could get back up, (Y/N) pounced on her. They rolled a couple times, each trying to gain the upper hand.

Just when it looked like Natasha was going to win, (Y/N) flipped her over, planting one knee in her back and pinning the spy’s arm behind her.

“Ten minutes are up.” Steve announced.

(Y/N) let Natasha up.

“You were good,” she acknowledged.

“So were you,” Natasha replied, not even out of breath.

“You’re better than I am,” the assassin said honestly.

(Y/N) had been conditioned to admire an opponent’s skill. If someone had bested her, it only meant that she needed to train harder in order to be worthy of such a challenge.

“If the time hadn’t run out,you would have pinned me.”

Natasha nodded, respectfully accepting her words.

(Y/N) turned to Clint.

“So, sweetheart, do I have your  _ club’s _ approval?” she inquired with a smirk.

“We’re going to take some time to discuss it,” Steve interjected.

“You do that, Captain,” she replied with a wink.

She then turned to walk out, throwing one last remark over her shoulder.

“I’ll be in my room… If anyone needs me.”

Pietro chuckled after she disappeared, clapping a hand against Clint’s shoulder.

“I think you might have your hands full with this one, old man.”

Clint sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah…” he muttered to himself. “That I do…”


	4. Chapter 4

“I can’t do this…” (Y/N) muttered to herself. “ _ I can’t do this! _ ”

She had been with the Avengers for four months now, and she found herself slowly growing affections for the mismatched group, especially that mouthy archer…

No.

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of these thoughts.

_ You weren’t supposed to become attached, idiot. You know what happens when you get involved… _

Chuckling darkly, she glared at her reflection.

“If they knew what you’ve done, they wouldn’t be so welcoming.”

_ But Barnes does know… So why hasn’t he said anything? _

(Y/N) took a deep breath, heading to the kitchen for breakfast. When she walked in, Tony and Bucky were in the middle of another argument.

“Yeah, well that’s rich coming from you, Barnes.”

Tony still hadn’t forgiven Bucky for… the  _ incident _ .

The guilt ate through (Y/N)’s conscience as they continued to dig at each other, until finally, she couldn’t take it any more.

“Oh will you just shut up!”

Everyone was staring at her now.

“You two are driving me crazy,” she huffed.

Then, after a slight hesitation, she pressed on.

“It wasn’t even him anyway.”

Tony’s face morphed into one of confusion.

“Wh- but…”

(Y/N) sighed.

“The Winter Soldier was tasked with eliminating Howard and Maria Stark, but James Buchanan Barnes started to remember. It seemed that these particular targets triggered some sort of relapse.

But, there was another assassin there. Only 17 years old, it was going to be her first kill. Barnes tried to stop her, but she put him out of commission and finished the job. Then she dragged him back to HYDRA to be reprogrammed.”

Bucky wouldn’t look at her. Clint, however, stared in disbelief.

“How-how do you know all this?” Tony stammered.

(Y/N) breathed deeply, her face filled with guilt.

“Because I was the assassin.”

Tony’s jaw tightened.

“Get out.”

“Tony--” Steve started.

“I said get her out of here.”

“Come on, man--” Clint tried.

“No Clint, it’s okay. I understand,” (Y/N) cut him off. “I’ll go.”

“But (Y/N)--”

“Clint,  _ please _ . There are things that you would hate me for too…”

(Y/N) stood and quickly headed to her room, immediately beginning to pack her things. Clint followed her, confused at why she was so desperate to get away.

“Hey, slow down. Tony just needs some time… You don’t have to run.”

“Yes I do,” (Y/N) replied, not even bothering to look up. “You guys… you’re so much better than I am. I shouldn’t be here, I’m just a disease.”

“Whoa, (Y/N), hey. You’re not… Why would you think that?”

She didn’t answer. He moved toward her.

“Isn’t there anything I could say to convince you? Isn’t there anything here worth staying for? Any _ one _ …?” he begged.

(Y/N) knew what he meant. But if he knew… if he knew, he would want her to go.

_ You should tell him. It would be better for him to hear it from you… Besides, if you tell him, he won’t try to stop you from leaving. Yeah, he’d probably throw you out the door himself. _

She finished packing and headed down to the entrance. The other Avengers had gathered to watch the scene.

“(Y/N) please.” Clint tried again. “I…”

“I know, Clint.” she said. “But I can’t. Not when I…”

She glanced at the group, making eye contact with Natasha.

“Clint… I killed Laura.”

The atmosphere of the room immediately turned dangerous.

“What?” Clint whispered.

(Y/N)’s face contorted tearfully, but only for a moment.

“I’m so sorry.”

“S- you’re sorry? You- you  _ murdered _ the woman I-” he broke off, unable to look at her.

“Now you understand why I can’t stay…” she hoarsely whispered.

And without waiting for a reply, the assassin left, leaving devastation in her wake.


	5. Chapter 5

The tower was engulfed in chaos. The Avengers were running around, suiting up for a last-minute mission.

“Barton!” Steve called, grabbing the archer’s attention. He hadn’t been the same since (Y/N) left.

“What’s up, Cap?”

Steve looked serious. “I think you should sit this one out.”

Clint frowned. “Um… Why? You need me.”

The captain reluctantly sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Clint… The report indicates that  _ she _ might be there.”

The man’s face instantly hardened. “I don’t care.”

“Clint--”

“It won’t affect my fighting, I swear.”

“You can’t guarantee that, and you know it! Listen to me, you--”

“No, you listen to me,” Clint interrupted. “You guys need me. We’re running ragged as it is… Please, just let me come along. If she does turn up, I’ll do whatever you say.”

Steve looked hesitant, but nodded. “Okay… But do  _ exactly _ as I say.”

 

(Y/N) carefully watched the HYDRA base, scanning for any signs of activity and wondering why the heck she had felt it necessary to run to the very organization that  _ he _ had loathed so much. She shook her head. These thoughts could prove fatal if she let them continue. She had a mission. That was her only focus. They would be here soon… She stood and headed to the info hub.

Showtime.

 

Clint lost himself in the fighting. It was the only way to distract him from his grief. Grief over the woman that he loved, grief that he had fallen in love with her murderer…

No.

Hit, dodge, string the bow and release. Fall into a rhythm. Forget. Forget…

Her smile. Her eyes. Her laugh…

Her tears. Her guilt when she confessed…

No.

“Barton, get down to the infohub. I want you and Romanoff in and out, forty seconds, no more.”

“On it, Cap.”

 

(Y/N) was ready. She would do whatever it took. The trap was set.

She could see him coming, with Romanoff. He saw her.

“Barton.”

Why…

Oh why did it hurt so much to see the hatred in his eyes?

He sneered. “(L/N)... Or is that even your real name?”

“Hawkeye…” Romanoff warned.

Barton ignored her.

(Y/N) steeled herself for what was to come.

Without warning, he lunged. She blocked his blow. He was distracted, and it was obvious. Using this to her advantage, she quickly dropped him to the floor, unconscious, looking up just as Romanoff moved forward.

“Oh relax… Did you really think I was gonna hurt him?”

The redhead didn’t react. “What are you really after?”

(Y/N) sighed. “You know I didn’t want this.”

“Then stop it.”

“I can’t.”

“You--”

“I didn’t go crawling to them. They found me. They broke me… But they offered me a deal.”

Natasha frowned, her posture still defensive as she listened. “What kind of deal?”

(Y/N)’s expression went blank. “They want the Black Widow. Your life for his. I give them you… he lives.”

Now she did react. “You…”

The assassin clenched her jaw. “But if I do that… he’ll only hate me more. So I’ve made my own mission. Get out now, while you can. Take him. But you have to kill me first.”

Natasha shook her head. “We can get you away.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “Please, that life isn’t worth living. Tony hates me, Clint…” She shook her head. “You know how he feels about me. Just do it and go.”

The infuriatingly stubborn ginger shook her head. “No.” Supporting a barely conscious Clint with one arm, she moved to go. “Now come on.”

Growling in frustration, (Y/N) followed. “Okay, Romanoff… I’ll come with you. But I can’t come back.”

“(Y/N)?” Barton muttered. Why did he have to say her name… She was having a difficult enough time as it was.

Natasha shushed him and nodded. “Fair enough.”

“Nat?”

The woman paused.

“Promise me that you won’t tell him. Let him believe that I’m evil, that I’m dead.  Let him hate me. Don’t let him know that I… that I love him. That I was going to die..  _ Did _ die… for him. I’d rather have him hate me than love me and mourn me…”

“(Y/N)...” Clint groaned again. She wished he would shut up… She also desperately hoped he hadn’t heard her confession.

Natasha nodded solemnly. “Okay.”

 

By the time they came out to the open area of the base, the archer was able to walk by himself, though still pretty out of it.

“(L/N)!” came a harsh voice. The trio turned to see a gruff looking HYDRA officer marching towards (Y/N). “I thought you had orders to bring in the Widow!”

“Change of plans.” (Y/N) shouted back. “Consider this my resignation!” With that, she pulled her gun from it’s holster and dropped the man with a quick shot between the eyes.

But she knew it wouldn’t end there. They would be waiting for her to try something. She immediately tackled Clint to the ground, hearing the shot ring out an instant later.

Pain blossomed near her sternum.

 

Clint was suddenly more awake when the gun went off. He hit the ground, someone on top of him.

He felt blood.

Not his own.

(Y/N).

Instantly, he cradled her in his arms.

She smirked weakly. “Heya sweetheart.”

“Shut up.” he growled. He wanted to leave her there. To just walk away and let her bleed out. But he couldn’t.

She coughed, wincing. There was blood. “So… I know we left on bad terms… But I just wanna say…” Her words were halted by another coughing fit, her speech separated by ragged breathing. “There’s nothing… I regret more… than taking the woman… you love from you… I know you can never forgive me, but I--” she coughed, fighting to continue. “Can you… grant me… a dying wish?”

Clint swallowed the lump in his throat, wondering why it was even there. “I guess…”

(Y/N) gasped in pain. “Just until I go… can you pretend… that things are okay between us?”

He hesitated.

He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I guess. Dying wish and all. I can’t deny that… even to you.”

She winced and he immediately regretted his words, though he didn’t show it. “So…” He paused, unsure how to continue. If things were okay between them… he’d be bawling his eyes out as the woman he loved was snatched from him once again.

Fortunately, she knew what she wanted to say in her last few moments.

“Don’t cry over me, okay?” she rasped with a smirk.

The irony of her statement wasn’t lost on either of them.

“I won’t…”

His words had a double meaning, though they both ignored the more hurtful one.

(Y/N) nodded, her skin paling. “You just move on… and you become… stronger than ever.” Her whole body shuddered as she struggled for oxygen. “And promise me… you won’t… won’t mourn…”

Her eyes fixed on a faraway point, and she exhaled one last time.

“I… I pr- I prom--”

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t swear that he wouldn’t mourn.

Because, despite what (Y/N) had hoped, he  _ had _ heard her.

And he felt he felt the same.

He had been planning to convince her to stay.

He wanted to give her a second chance.

But she had been right, he thought as he laid her body on the ground.

Not everyone can be saved.


End file.
